Have you ever met someone who seems all in at first; constant messages, deep talks, future plans.. only for their energy to completely shift as soon as you start to open up, get real and be vulnerable?
One moment, they’re chasing you. The next, they’re distant, cold and insanely confusing.(i've been there!)
This 'push-pull dynamic'; a pattern rooted not in genuine care or love but wrapped in emotional avoidance. It happens when someone seeks the thrill of pursuit, validation or momentary control, rather than genuine emotional intimacy.
At its core, this behaviour isn’t about you.
It’s a reflection of their relationship with intimacy. Maybe they are too afraid to say or ask for what they want so they tell you want they think you need to hear, in order to receive affection and or connection. This is why they tend to push and create distance when walls come down, conversations get deeper or the relationship progresses.
Because they fear truly being authentic within themsevles and with you..
What It Says About Emotional Avoidance
People who operate in these cycles often struggle to regulate vulnerability.
The chase gives them a sense of power; a temporary high that mimics intimacy without requiring it. When they finally “win” your affection, they subconsciously fear losing their autonomy or being exposed emotionally and so they withdraw..
The heartbreaking part?
This cycle only continues when the other person, often you mistakes inconsistency for passion or believes she can “earn” their consistency by being more patient, more available or more loving. (No, no, no please no!)
Real love doesn’t require you to prove your worth. It meets you in mutual safety, undivided presence and full commitment.
That's not just to say someone will commit to you straight away, its about them being real and genuine with where they are at, what they are looking for and what they honestly see the pair of you going.
How to Stop Attracting Men Who Can’t Meet You Emotionally
The patterns you draw in or attract are often mirrors; they show where your own healing still asks to be seen (this is about passing blame, its about recognising lessons or insights you still need to ingrate), (so you notice toxic cycles sooner)!
If you often find yourself drawn to emotionally unavailable men, it may be because part of you is still tolerating emotional uncertainty as normal.
To shift this, you must:
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Clarify what emotional availability looks and feels like: not in theory but in daily behaviour.
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Notice your own responses to inconsistency: do you chase, overthink or self-blame?
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Rebuild your self-trust: remind yourself that love should feel calm not confusing.
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Commit to your standards: consistency, communication and care are not “too much to ask.”
This is where your daily practice becomes everything. 📖
Through journaling, reflection and intention setting, you can begin to release the patterns of chasing potential and instead, embody the energy of someone who naturally attracts stability and emotional depth.
Why Healing Your Own Patterns Is the First Step Toward Manifesting Commitment and Healthy Love
Healing doesn’t mean closing your heart; it means opening it from a place of clarity.
When you understand your triggers, honour your emotions and stop negotiating your boundaries, you shift your energetic signature. 🌀
You begin to attract partners who meet you where you are, not those who test how far you’ll bend and as you strengthen your inner sense of worth, you naturally stop entertaining red flags. 👋
You spot them sooner, you trust yourself faster and you walk away with peace instead of pain.
Your journal can be your safe container for this growth; a place to rewrite your stories, define your standards and map out your dream relationship from a healed, conscious space.
Because the more grounded you are in who you are, the less you’ll settle for someone who doesn’t know what they want..
Your Next Step: Manifest the Love and Life You Desire
Healing your patterns and taking control of your energy is the first step toward attracting the love and life you truly deserve.
Our Manifestation Journal is coming very soon, designed to help you:
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Rewrite old relationship and self-worth patterns
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Create daily routines that align with your desires
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Embody the energy that naturally draws what you want into your life
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Reflect, plan and intentionally manifest your dream relationships and experiences
📕 Be the first to experience it; sign up now to receive early launch access and exclusive discounts, so you don’t miss the first drop! ✨
With love,
AMIIRA
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Self-Love, Relationships & Manifestation
self-love tips for women - how to attract healthy love - spotting red flags in relationships - manifestation journal for women - emotional availability in men - break toxic relationship patterns - daily routines for self-empowerment - manifestation techniques for love - heal and attract committed relationships - push-pull relationship dynamics
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