Life can feel heavy when we try to control everything; our past mistakes, the opinions of others or even what the future holds.
The truth? Some things are simply beyond our influence, and learning to let go of them is one of the most freeing skills we can cultivate.
At the same time, there’s so much within our reach; the way we think, the actions we take and how we treat ourselves and others.
Understanding the difference between what we can and cannot control is key to reducing stress, improving our wellbeing and living with clarity and intention.
What’s Out of Your Control
It can be easy to obsess over things we cannot change, but holding onto them only drains energy. These include:
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The past: Mistakes, regrets, and “what ifs” are lessons, not anchors.
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The future: We can plan, but life unfolds in ways we cannot always predict.
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Outcomes: You can give your best, but results aren’t guaranteed.
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Others’ opinions & actions: People will think, say, and do as they choose—it’s not your responsibility to manage that.
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Ageing & time: These are constants beyond our influence.
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External events & judgments: Circumstances and other people’s criticisms are outside our control.
Accepting these truths doesn’t mean giving up; it means freeing yourself from unnecessary stress and focusing your energy where it truly matters.
What You Can Control
This is where your power lives. By focusing on what you can influence, you create space for growth, calm, and clarity:
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Your actions: The steps you take each day shape your reality more than you think.
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Your attitude: Choosing optimism, patience, and kindness in moments of challenge shifts your entire experience.
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Your responses: You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you respond.
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The way you treat others: Compassion and respect are always within your reach.
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Your self-talk & thoughts: The inner dialogue you nurture impacts your mood, confidence, and resilience.
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Your boundaries: Protect your energy by setting limits on what you accept from others.
Focusing on these areas cultivates self-respect, personal growth and emotional freedom.
Bringing It Together
Life is a mix of what we can control and what we cannot. The more we accept the limits of our control, the more energy we have to focus on the things that truly matter; our thoughts, our actions and our attitude.
Take a moment today to notice: where are you holding onto the uncontrollable? And where can you channel your energy into what’s in your control?
Even small shifts; pausing before reacting, choosing self-kindness or setting a boundary create ripple effects of peace and empowerment.
Remember: freedom begins when we let go of the things we cannot control and power grows when we nurture the things we can.
Want more tools to focus on what’s in your control and cultivate daily peace?
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With love,
AMIIRA
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